Life and its ups and downs
Friday, April 23, 2010
Difficulties have arisen since my last post. Many issues due to time constraints have limited my ability to write and to keep current on this journaling activity. Writing keeps me sane....or insane? Daddy continues to fight the pancreatic cancer that is spreading throughout his body. He is getting chemo and stuggles every other week with the decision of continuing or stopping and seeing how life might be without it. None of us can give any advice because we don't know what we would do. Mama seems to be at the receiving end of all his frustrations and outbursts. She is loyal to a fault. She puts off all health issues and doctor appointments for herself so that she can be on call for 24 hours each day. If Daddy asks for ANYthing she is there to provide it. Wonder how she maintains any sanity at all with requests coming all the time. No finger pointing or bad feelings, just truth. Parents who have been together for 55 years no longer recognize differences in each other. They are as one, a couple, who have bonded together for better or for worse , in the worst of times and in the best of times. Fifty-five years of living together and working towards goals set is a massive undertaking. Many of those around them have passed away or gotten divorces. They didn't. For whatever reasons they chose, they are together. Both of them have endured hardships. Each one of them handles those hardships in different ways. One chooses to lash out and make us aware and the other just silently handles it most of the time. Want to try to guess which one does what???????????? My sisters and I worry and wonder about the outcome of this terrible tragedy of cancer. We panic, we cry, we laugh and get angry. The levels of grief are many. Grieving for the living can be almost as difficult as grieving for those who have died. Seeing loved ones struggle with life remains hard and no one has answers as to how to deal with it. Do people see how they treat others? Do they realize when a friend or family member has lost hope? Do we know when someone has reached their last efforts in trying to hold on to something that might not be there tomorrow??? This is April 2010. Life changed dramatically for our family in 2005. With all the happiness that has surrounded us with new babies, new jobs, new spouses, new homes, new towns, graduations......there is the looming factor of cancer. We have always said our prayers. We've always been told "how they go" and what to say. What do we pray for now? We pray for healing? We pray for quality of life? We pray for wisdom and knowledge of how to handle daily life??
Turmoil prevails at the moment.
v
Difficulties have arisen since my last post. Many issues due to time constraints have limited my ability to write and to keep current on this journaling activity. Writing keeps me sane....or insane? Daddy continues to fight the pancreatic cancer that is spreading throughout his body. He is getting chemo and stuggles every other week with the decision of continuing or stopping and seeing how life might be without it. None of us can give any advice because we don't know what we would do. Mama seems to be at the receiving end of all his frustrations and outbursts. She is loyal to a fault. She puts off all health issues and doctor appointments for herself so that she can be on call for 24 hours each day. If Daddy asks for ANYthing she is there to provide it. Wonder how she maintains any sanity at all with requests coming all the time. No finger pointing or bad feelings, just truth. Parents who have been together for 55 years no longer recognize differences in each other. They are as one, a couple, who have bonded together for better or for worse , in the worst of times and in the best of times. Fifty-five years of living together and working towards goals set is a massive undertaking. Many of those around them have passed away or gotten divorces. They didn't. For whatever reasons they chose, they are together. Both of them have endured hardships. Each one of them handles those hardships in different ways. One chooses to lash out and make us aware and the other just silently handles it most of the time. Want to try to guess which one does what???????????? My sisters and I worry and wonder about the outcome of this terrible tragedy of cancer. We panic, we cry, we laugh and get angry. The levels of grief are many. Grieving for the living can be almost as difficult as grieving for those who have died. Seeing loved ones struggle with life remains hard and no one has answers as to how to deal with it. Do people see how they treat others? Do they realize when a friend or family member has lost hope? Do we know when someone has reached their last efforts in trying to hold on to something that might not be there tomorrow??? This is April 2010. Life changed dramatically for our family in 2005. With all the happiness that has surrounded us with new babies, new jobs, new spouses, new homes, new towns, graduations......there is the looming factor of cancer. We have always said our prayers. We've always been told "how they go" and what to say. What do we pray for now? We pray for healing? We pray for quality of life? We pray for wisdom and knowledge of how to handle daily life??
Turmoil prevails at the moment.
v
Labels: 2010, April 23, Thoughts on Friday
posted by vikibozeman @ 6:32 AM
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